


The Matchmaking Power of Pigeons

by dennyv61



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Drinking, Drunk Texting, Drunkenness, Explicit Language, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Rating May Change, Sexual Humor, Texting, daehyun's rly gay yall, daehyun-centric, himup is already dating, younglo is... in progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-10 12:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10437726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dennyv61/pseuds/dennyv61
Summary: Daehyun really wasn’t looking for love. He was quite keen on thirsting after that super hot senior in his film class from 20 feet away, thank you very much. He preferred to keep his dignity intact for the remainder of his college career. Of course, nothing ever really goes his way, now does it.Or: Daehyun is a salty film major who pines after Yongguk and his friends are the absolute worst ft. group chats and texting galore.





	1. Bad Decisions

_The sun is way too fucking bright_ , that was Daehyun’s first thought as he stumbled outside his dormitory building, quickly slipping on his sunglasses and struggling to get his left arm through the strap of his bookbag. It certainly didn’t help that his head was pounding like a wired-up woodpecker and his phone wouldn’t stop going off every 2 minutes with that dumb “John Cena” jingle that Youngjae had drunkenly insisted on setting up last night. Finally succeeding in slipping his bookbag onto his back, Daehyun not-so-gracefully pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and looked at the screen.

 

**8 Missed Calls from YoungGAY**

**2 Missed Calls from Channie <33**

**2 Missed Calls from Uppie Boi**

**22 Unread SMS Messages**

**42 Unread Messages in HOBAMA IS FUCKIN REAL YOU COWARDS**

 

“What the fuckkkk” Daehyun groaned outloud, rubbing his temple as he made his way along the sidewalk. Unlocking his phone, he hesitantly started scrolling through the messages in the group chat that starting at 2:31 A.M:

 

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

yo yo SHIt yall ok dnt freaj OUT

**himchanfam:**

who’s freaking out

nobody’s freaking out

**Jong the Dong:**

youngjae why is ur name #1 jaden smith stan who hurt u

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

Ok mY name is of NO matter ot yall FUCKS!!!! Litsteen up, dae is missin ok dead ass MISSING

**Himchanfam:**

…… missing? The fuck. How. I literally left you guys 20 minutes ago??

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

Aye what this abt dae being missing???? The lord finally doing us a solid??

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

JUNHONG THIS ISNT A JOEK!!! DAE IS GONE!!!!!!!

when himchan left we took another shot ya kno

n he looked sick so he was like imma step OUtSIDE for some fresh air

n I was like O H KAY binch be safe well HE DISAPPEARED I CANT FIND HIM

**Himchanfam:**

Dude calm down I’m sure he’s nearby. Probs puking in a bush nearby. You called his phone?

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

BITCH CHAN U THINK I WOULDMNT CALL HIS FUCKIN PHONE THE HELL

**Himchanfam:**

… yes I do think that.

You’re dumb as shit when your drunk that’s a fact.

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

Huh ok lmaoo hold up dae just txted me tho

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

YS FUCK WOT??? HE say?

WHY HE TXTIN U!!!!!!!

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

“hngdjd pigeons r fat lil bird shitters im gonnsa Kill Eem ALL”

I kid u not that’s the exact text

word for word

i think it’s safe to say hes out there tryna kill some pigeons

hes fine, ok im goin to bed I gotta test tmrw bye

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

JUNHONG WHAT THE HELL!!!!! TEXT HIM BACK ASK HI M WHERE HE I S

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

lol ok hold on

**Jong the Dong:**

Youngjae dude u gotta calm down

deep breaths

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

HDDHNNNNHA OK ok u rite u RITE shit im godo

Its fine its chill

JUNHONG BTICH HURRY UP

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

LMAOOOO

“tall dark n handsom ;--) from FILM!!!”

i think hes getting laid lol

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

……………… That lil BITCH!!!!!!! WHO THE HELL!!!!!!!!

**Himchanfam:**

Alright case closed, Daehyun’s getting some dick, everyone go the fuck to sleep.

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

what a champ tbh

 

At this point, Daehyun stopped reading and stifled a groan, reaching up to rub his forehead. He was far too gay, way too good-looking, and much too hungover to be dealing with this kind of drama at 8:30 A.M. And what was this stupid nonsense about “tall dark n handsom” from Junhong. He’s 99.99% sure he didn’t hook up with anyone last night. As blunt evidence, he woke up alone, he wasn’t naked, and his sheets weren’t all sexed-up (to put it nicely).

He quickly opened his and Junhong’s text messages, only to discover that he, in fact, had indeed sent those unfortunate texts. He also realized Junhong had kindly left out the fact that he had received 12 additional texts where Daehyun had been vividly describing his unbridled hate for pigeons. He would have to thank him for that later.

Returning to his messaging Home, he sighed and opened Youngjae’s personal chat, typing out a quick “Hey I’m fine, didn’t fuck anyone, just piss drunk,” and pressing send before scrolling through his other unread messages, sending out reassurances here and there to his other friends.

“JOOOOOHHNNN CENNAAAAA!”

The ringtone abruptly rang out from his phone, giving Daehyun a heart attack and promptly shaving 3 years off his sad excuse of a life. Picking his phone up from where he had accidentally dropped it, he angrily silenced the device and looked at the message that popped up on the screen.

 

**Message from Unknown Number**

 

Daehyun frowned, his finger hovering over the touch screen, unsure, and deeply unsettled as to who this could be and what they could want. What if he DID fuck someone last night? Or worse, what if he HAD killed some pigeons, and they happened to be someone’s beloved pets? What level of misfortune would that take, he wondered? He didn’t want to go to jail for some weird ass animal cruelty charge. It’s not his fault pigeons are the god damn rats of the bird world.

Quickly swiping to unlock his phone, Daehyun opened the message:

 

**Unknown Number:**

Hey, this is Daehyun right? It’s Yongguk. U might not remember but I asked for ur number last night. Just wanted to make sure ur ok I guess. U didn’t look so hot when I dropped you off at your dorm.

 

Daehyun stared blankly at the message on his screen, his heart hammering aggressively against his ribcage as sweat started beading on his forehead. Yongguk. Bang fuckin’ Yongguk. The really hot, super sexy senior in his Global Cinema class, the one he was pretty damn sure was unfortunately straight as an arrow, the object of his intense and undying infatuation for the past year and a half. Bang Yongguk had his number and was texting him.

His astonishment quickly turned to horror as he reread the last sentence of the message. Yongguk… had seen him last night when he was plastered and rambling about killing pigeons, which most likely meant he had witnessed Daehyun in all his drunken glory.

Squinting up into the sun, Daehyun briefly considered how much it would cost him to build a catapult that could sling shot him directly into the bright hell orb, killing him instantly. Who was he kidding, there’s no way he could afford that, he’s a film major for fuck’s sake.

Since blowing himself up into the sun was off the table, he was left with two options: either bravely text Yongguk and ask him what happened last night, or ignore his text and live in ignorant bliss for the rest of his college days. The latter of those options was far more tempting for Daehyun’s ego, but he couldn’t help but think about the incredible opportunity this gave him. If what he did last night wasn’t too embarrassing, maybe he could get to know Yongguk, even be his friend. That would mean study sessions with Yongguk, ALONE time with that sexy man. Maybe while they were studying, Yongguk would point out something in their textbook and his hand would brush Daehyun’s and they would fall madly in love. The tattooed man would push Daehyun sensually onto the table, their notes long forgotten as they fall to the ground. Dear God, he can already imagine Yongguk’s deep voice in his ear while his colleague’s beautiful hands wrapped around his–

Daehyun aggressively shook his head, stopping that train of thought before he seriously popped a boner in front of the psychology building. He didn’t need some psych major trying to analyze why he was standing outside, staring at the sky with a raging hard-on. The last thing he needs at this school is people thinking he wants to fuck the goddamn sun.

He needed to think this through and not make any rash decisions. Actually, what he needed was a third-party opinion, someone who would give it to him straight (heh, straight). He quickly checked the time on his phone, to make sure he had time before his class, before calling the only person he could think of.

“What the ever-loving fuck do you want, you shit-head pigeon murderer,” Youngjae’s scathing voice hit his ear, a loving reminder of why the 20-year-old was his best friend.

“Love you too, baby,” Daehyun cooed into the phone, sitting down on a bench near the building his first class was in. He watched a group of freshman meander by, eyes bright and full of life.

“Do you even REALISE how god damn scared I was, you dick? I thought some creep had you in the trunk of his car, or you were in fucking jail for the public killing of birds.”

Daehyun rolled his eyes, shifting his phone to his other ear so he could adjust the strap on his bookbag. Typical Youngjae. He picked at the cuticles of his nails, letting his mind drift while his friend trailed off in an angry rant about safety and communication.

After a solid two minutes, Daehyun cut him off, “Youngjae, shut up for a sec, kay?” In response, he heard an angry huff, but his friend did indeed quiet down.

“Listen, I know what I did was irresponsible, uhm, like really fuckin’ irresponsible and shitty. Sorry for scarin’ your ass, really,” Daehyun said, “But there’s a more pressing matter to take care of right now.”

“And that is…?”

“Did I mention anything, anything at all, about Bang Yongguk before I went outside, like did I mention his name or anything that sounded remotely like it.”

“Uhm… no? Isn’t that the guy you’re, like, super hot for in your… econ class? No, film class?”

“Technicalities, Jae, technicalities! So, I didn’t even, like, say I thought he was bangin or something?”

He heard Youngjae scoff, “Dae, you’ve literally ranted about how hot the fucking Mr. Clean guy is when you’re drunk, I’ve learned to tune your thirsty ass out.”

Daehyun hummed, “Fair point. Anyways, actual point is, apparently, I ran into him last night. He’s the ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ guy I was texting Junhong about. He… questionably took me home? Shut up, not like that, he literally took my drunk ass home.”

Youngjae’s laughter cut him off, making him groan in frustration, “JAE! LISTEN TO ME! I know this because he texted me this morning, and unfortunately, I need your advice.” He checked the time again: 8:47 A.M. Shit, he was cutting it close.

“Ask away, dude. Glad to know you still value my all-knowing opinion. I am, after all, a 4.0 Biochemistry major, incredibly smart, quite a guy.”

Daehyun restrained himself from chucking his phone at a nearby tree.

“Should I text him back or not. Like, should I ignore it and just pretend it never happened?” He muttered into his phone.

He was met with a painful stretch of silence before he heard Youngjae let out a long exhale.

“Ok, no offense- actually wait, FULL offense- but why the fuck would you not text him back, you twit brain?” He could vividly visualize Youngjae’s incredulous stare, “You’ve been legit horny for this guy since you got to this God damn school. Text his ass. I’m hanging up. You’re the dumbest shit I’ve met in my life. Also, don’t forget to turn in your Bio Lab report. Bye.”

A beep told Daehyun that his friend had ended the call. Sighing and standing up from the bench, he took his sunglasses off his face and shoved them haphazardly into his bookbag. He stared down at the phone in his hand, heart fluttering as he opened Yongguk’s text, timestamp 8:31 A.M. To hell with it.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

yeah im good. bit of a crazy headache. srsly, thx for helping me out, hope I didnt ruin ur night or anything

 

Daehyun stared at the message. Should he use proper grammar? Was it ok to use his shit texting language with Yongguk if he didn’t even know him. He sounds so serious in this message, what the hell, he might as well be a teacher talking to their student. Tapping at his screen, he made a minor edit:

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

yeah im good. bit of a crazy headache. srsly, thx for helping me out. hope I didnt ruin ur night or anything :) lol

 

“Perfect,” He whispered as he quickly pressed send. When the text marked as “delivered,” he emitted a small squeak and shoved his phone back into his pocket.

“C’mon Big D, get your shit together.” Daehyun muttered to himself as he finally entered his BIO 2020 class a strapping, solid 5 minutes late. He shuffled to his seat in the auditorium, lowering himself into the chair and yanking his laptop from his bag. A low cough made him turn slightly to his right, forcing him to make eye contact with Junhong a row down, a shit-eating grin on his face. Daehyun subtly flipped him off, which only made his friend grin wider. Letting out a strangled noise, Daehyun glared at the Freshman and pulled out his phone.

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

bitch stfu

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

Didnt say anything darling

 

A muscle twitched near Daehyun’s eye.

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

U got balls for a 12 year old twink w pink hair

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

how were those balls u got last night Dae

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

I DIDN’T FUCK ANY1 U BRAT!!!

NO BALLS WERE HAD LAST NIGHT

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

“tall dark n handsom” cmon dae lmao

unless u were talkin abt a pigeon

o god pls tell me u weren’t talkin abt a pigeon

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

…………………

i was not referring to a pigeon u useless ass

i was referring to a man by the name of Bang Yongguk

ring a ding dong any bells?????

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

omg u fucked yongguk

dude what the hell i thot he was straight??

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

NO U IDIOT I S2G JAIFEJKA

I DIDNT FUCK YONGGUK FOR CHRISTS SAKE

i think he found my drunk ass n took me home

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

….. u think…….

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

WELL its not like i rmbr anything im goin off what he txted me this morn

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

Oooooooooo u got his number dayum Dae GET IT

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

smh u dildo he wanted to c if I was alive

bc in his words i “didnt look so hot”

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

awh damn

im sure he didnt mean ur looks ://

 

**To “ZeloOoOo”:**

i literally fuckin hate u

 

Daehyun was seconds away from lunging across the row and wringing Junhong’s neck. Carefully placing his phone on the table, he breathed in deeply and exhaled, silently counting the ways he could successfully murder his friend once class was over. Purposefully avoiding Junhong’s smirk, Daehyun opened his laptop and pulled up his notes from last week, quite intent on ignoring the hell out of the tall devil child.

Thankfully, time started speeding by as Daehyun scribbled down line after line of information about the anatomy system of cephalopods. Real talk, squids were so weird. Why did they need that many arms? Why did they have beaks, man, that’s nasty and uncomfortable. They shit from the same place they ate. Just as he was finally starting to get in the rhythm of the lecture, his phone buzzed loudly from the table surface, prompting several amused glances from some of his classmates. Stifling a frustrated noise in his throat, he grabbed his phone, ready to tell Junhong to go eat Youngjae’s ass and leave him alone.

Upon reading the notification, Daehyun’s eyes widened and his ears flushed bright red, heat radiating from his face. The anger died almost instantly.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Haha no worries. I was having a pretty lame night, u made it interesting.

 

Daehyun’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head at the text. Somehow, he had made Yongguk’s night interesting. His stomach started doing some U.S team Olympic-worthy somersaults at that open-ended statement. Nervously, he typed his reply.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

O lmao what did I do

 

There we go, that was good. A casual, chill response that showed Daehyun was relaxed and totally in control of his life. Easy peasy, lemon squeasy.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

U don’t remember? Hmm guess that makes sense.

I found u following a flock of pigeons on the east campus lawns.

U looked pretty serious about it too.

 

Daehyun had started a slow, sinking descent into his chair, embarrassment sizzling through his body as he read the next couple of texts.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

I came up and tapped you on the shoulder and you freaked out. Said I was ruining your plans. Started ranting about how attractive people always bring about the fall of empires, not sure what that was about.

Just walked u home and made sure u entered ur room. Ur a pretty tame drunk.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

OMG im so sry… im so dumb ugh

my friends told me i was on some pigeon-hating kick dnt ask me why

 

Grimacing, he chose to ignore the latter statement about attractive people and empires. No way in hell was he equipped to tackle that monster of drunk shame.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hahaha that makes so much more sense.

Not that pigeon-hating makes sense really. Explains ur behavior.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh i was feelin sum typa way last night

im a mess

a pigeon-hating mess

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Haha that’s one way to put it.

 

At this, Daehyun didn’t know how to reply. It felt like a conversation stale-mate, like Yongguk was trying to put an end to their awkward texting. Daehyun cringed. In all honesty, he wished his chair would sink through the floor and propel him straight into the Earth’s molten core. That’d be a nice course of events. Glancing down, he noticed Yongguk had sent him another message.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

I’m surprised we’ve never talked before. Aren’t we in a couple of classes together?

 

A lump caught in the back of Daehyun’s throat as he reread Yongguk’s words. Holy hell on heelies, Yongguk had actually noticed him this whole goddamn time. His crush knew who he WAS and- wait, oh no, did he realize how often Daehyun stared at him on a daily basis? This was a game changer.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

LMAO tbh I didnt think u knew who I was

This makes this whole event even more embarrassing WOW

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Nah don’t worry. Ur good. Btw gotta go. Class

See u in Global Cinema.

 

And just like that, it was over. His first ever conversation with the subject of his wildest and most frustrating dreams was finished. Daehyun couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face, fingers running over the text on the screen.

A notification abruptly popped up.

 

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

u look so dumb right now lol

dnt worry

I got a pic <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u liked it!  
> hmu @kihyunnybee on tumblr


	2. Global Cinema

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daehyun orders a chai latte and contemplates his life. Youngjae has a crisis. Himchan is protective. And Yongguk just looks hot as hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh idk this is kinda a mess but w/e  
> the next chapter will contain a lot more plot and substance tbh  
> unbeta'd, as always rip

As soon as the clock on his phone read “10:55,” Daehyun was packed up and ready to run for the hills. Not even sparing Junhong a second glance, he hauled ass out of BIO 2020, trying to focus on making it to the nearest cafe so he could organize his thoughts in peace. Despite Junhong being a little shit and taking a picture of his reaction (which, excuse him, he couldn’t possibly look _that_ dumb in), his head still reeled over the fact that he’d had an actual real conversation, albeit over text, with Yongguk.

Weaving his way through the throng of students currently occupying the sidewalk, he could feel his head pound with the wild nature of the whole situation. Who would have guessed his intense hate for pigeons would have opened the doors for endless possibility. Maybe he would have to rethink his so-called hate for them. Yeah, that wasn't happening. Unless pigeons magically stopped shitting on his car, that would be a great turn of events. Engrossed in his thoughts, Daehyun arrived at a small cafe in the corner of the biochem building. He ordered a medium chai tea latte, a favorite staple of his, and descended onto a corner table, content with the isolation it provided. Sipping his drink, he nearly spilled the foaming hot liquid all over his shirt when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Grumbling, he pulled it out and looked at the screen:

 

**10 Unread Messages in HOBAMA IS FUCKIN REAL U COWARDS**

 

Opening the chat, he was met with… a not-so-awesome picture of himself, courtesy of Junhong. In the picture, he was sporting a small, pained smile, an absurdly fond look on his face as he gazed at the phone in his hand.

 

**Junhonghong oui baguette** _sent a picture_

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

Daes boutta pop a boner bc yongguk texted him lol

**Himchanfam:**

Is that the guy he hooked up with last night?

 

Stifling the scream that threatened to leave his mouth, Daehyun quickly typed out a reply before Junhong, or anyone else for that matter, could respond:

 

**schlong lover:**

I DID NOT FUCK ANYONE LAST NIGHT

also apparently i changed my name in this chat last night

nice

**Jong the Dong:**

Glad u could finally join us Dae. Care to fill us in on last night??

**Himchanfam:**

Wait so you didn’t get laid last night?

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

nah he just made a big ass fool outta himself in front of his crUUuuuusSHhhh

lmao

**Himchanfam:**

Awh, Dae has a crush?? What a nerd.

**Jong the Dong:**

Lol remember when u had that silly crush on me last year channie?

**Himchanfam:**

…….

………….

Jongup we r dating.

**Jong the Dong:**

Haha yeah true.

**Himchanfam:**

…………

**schlong lover:**

…………

is this an ellipses party can i join in

anyways back to ME

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

surprise surprise miss attention whore

**schlong lover:**

literally junhong im gonna destroy u

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

u literally ran out of class to avoid me

nice try

**Jong the Dong:**

Hahahah did he really??

Classic dae

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

im here what did i miss

r we making fun of daehyun bc

im alive

**schlong lover:**

jae pls not u 2

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

dnt “pls” me u hoe

i almost called the cops last night bc of u

just bc i gave ur dumb ass love advice early today does NOT mean i dnt hate ur ass

**Himchanfam:**

Youngjae’s got a fair point there tbh

**schlong lover:**

u guys suck dick

**Jong the Dong:**

Says “schlong lover”

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

u say that like its an insult???

we all suck dick in here that is a fact

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

jae why wont u suck my dick???????

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

jfc junhong we’ve been thru this

ur like 12 and ur not my type

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

why does everyone keep calling me 12

I literally tower over all of u

I could punt kick all of u over the architecture building

**Jong the Dong:**

I don’t think ur 12 if that helps!

More like 15?

**Junhonghong oui baguette:**

thx uppie, means a lot!!!!!!!!

also youngjae ok

but my penis could def b ur type like if u just

let me

send u a pic

**#1 Jaden Smith Stan:**

if u send me a dick pic i s2g i will block ur phone

i will remove u from this group BET!!

 

At this point, Daehyun closed the groupchat, having reached his trauma limit with the excessive mentioning of Junhong’s dick. Seriously, Daehyun needed some new friends. One’s who didn’t harbor intense sexual frustrations for other members of their group. Maybe he could join a club or something. Rumor on the block was that the campus Glee club accepted applications this time of the year.

He shuddered at that mere prospect, deciding to return to the actual matter at hand: Yongguk. In less than 30 minutes, he would be entering his Global Cinema class, thus coming in contact with Yongguk, who he didn’t even remember seeing last night, let alone talking to.

Running his hand through his hair, he started mindlessly tapping the table’s surface, debating his best course of action. Should he walk up to Yongguk and say “hi?” Or should he just calmly walk to his seat and give the other man a totally chill and manly head nod of acknowledgment? He didn’t want to seem _too_ eager to talk to him, did he? That could definitely freak him out. That’s for sure super freaky and weird. But he also didn’t want to seem ungrateful, did he? If he didn’t talk to him, that could be taken as a sign that he didn’t appreciate the other man’s actions last night. God, he really was a mess.

Taking another sip from his chai latte, Daehyun paused a moment and took a good, hard look at his predicament. In all honesty, he was being quite absurd, and he knew that. It doesn’t take a genius to hold a normal and stimulating conversation. For fuck’s sake, he did it all the time. Usually, he was the goddamn life of any campus party he received an invitation to (and he was invited to a _lot_ of parties). He made friends left and right, knew what to say when to say it, wooed practically anyone he talked to, and it certainly helped that he considered himself a pretty attractive individual. Daehyun was born to be a socialite, and to let this, of all things, bring him to a mental standby was absolutely insulting, not only to him but to his legacy.

After concluding his internal pep-talk, he finished his latte in one large gulp and took a deep, calming breath, ready to make his next move. He stood up, slung his bookbag over his shoulder, and exited the cafe, flicking his hair out of his eyes in a way he knew drew attention to his face. _Look hot, Big D_ , he thought, _you’re one killin’ piece of ass._ Smiling to himself, he tossed his coffee cup into the recycling bin and steered his body towards the direction of his class.

Despite the blinding sun causing him to sweat a shit ton, he felt significantly more in control as he strolled outside to his Global Cinema class. Checking his phone, he saw he had two new messages:

 

**3 Unread Messages from YoungGAY**

**2 Unread Message from Channie <33**

 

**From “YoungGAY”:**

yo ok dae

i kno i said i hated u early but i dnt i love u

pls help me

**To “YoungGay”:**

ohohhohohohoon

o how the turns have tabled bitch

**From “YoungGAY”:**

shut up u lil shit

Im deciding to forgive u earlier out of the goodness of my heart

dnt make me regret it

**To “YoungGay”:**

fine fine whatchu need boi

cnt say ill b of much help tbh

i got yongguk on the mind ; ))

**From “YoungGAY”:**

ew

ok but srsly help me w junhong

tell him to leave me aloneeeee

**To “YoungGay”:**

LMAO

LMAOOOOOO

LMAOOOO

nah

**From “YoungGAY”:**

):< BITCH WHO U??????

WHY

**To “YoungGay”:**

bc u totally wanna bone him

im not one to keep tru love apart <3

**From “YoungGAY”:**

NO I DONT

YEAH HES TALL AND HAS A BODY LIKE AN ADONIS

BUT LLIKE HES NOT MY TYPE

**To “YoungGay”:**

wtf is ur type jae????

literally this whole time we’ve been friends u have nvr had a type

ur just not as much of a hoe as me or junhong lol

**From “YoungGAY”:**

I mean that right there

thats the problem dude

Im not gonna b another tally in his sack

**To “YoungGay”:**

literally this entire friend group is dumb af

i c why we all hang around each other lmaoo

pal, buddio, my man

Junhong would brand his dick w ur name on it

if it meant it could enter ur asshole and urs alone

im so mad ur making me think abt his dick again UHFGSAHhjhjsa

**From “YoungGAY”:**

EW WTF

GOD I HATE U

gross descriptions aside ur wrong

maybe if he asked me on a goddamn date first i would reconsider

but NO all he thinks abt is gettin laid

**To “YoungGay”:**

i mean can u blame the kid

he’s horny n ur a "decently" attractive guy who’s playing hard to get

**From “YoungGAY”:**

………...

this was a mistake to come to u for help

go succ yongguk’s dick in ur film class u asswipe

 

Chuckling at the progression of his and Youngjae’s conversation, Daehyun exited out and quickly opened Himchan’s messages:

 

**From “Channie <33”:**

Hey, so jokes aside r u ok?

U did really give us all a scare last night.

**To “Channie <33”:**

awh bby u do care <33333

ilysm yeah im fine

just exponentially sexually frustrated but whats new

**From “Channie <33”:**

Ok, that’s good to hear.

Just be careful with this Yongguk guy.

We don’t really know a whole lot about him.

I’m worried bc I don’t know his intentions

**To “Channie <33”:**

ur always such a mom channie lmao

i feel like if he had any bad intentions

he wouldnt have helped me out last night like he did ya kno

**From “Channie <33”:**

Hey, I’m proud to be the mom of this group.

Someone has to take care of you guys' reckless asses.

And yeah, that makes sense. Just don’t want you to get hurt. Emotionally as well.

**To “Channie <33”:**

i mean worst case scenario hes str8

and tbh i can deal w that pretty well

**From “Channie <33”:**

Hmmm yeah like u handled Dylan being straight, right?

So well. Really handled that like a champ

**To “Channie <33”:**

WE DNT TALK ABT DYLAN CHAN!!!!!

BESIDES that dick led me on bc he liked the attention

i dnt think yongguk’s like that

he seems pretty quiet and likes to keep to himself

according to my year and a half of solid observation

**From “Channie <33”:**

Stalking. That’s called stalking, Dae.

But ok. Just let me know if I have to beat his ass or anything.

**To “Channie <33”:**

no offense channie but i think yongguk could snap u in half

**From “Channie <33”:**

Uhm, not if I crush him with my thighs? They r impossible to defeat.

**To “Channie <33”:**

ooooooooooo FAIR point

alright alright ill let u kno

ur the best mom <333

 

He took back what he said about needing new friends. Himchan could stay, bless his overprotective heart, and he guessed Jongup could as well, by extension. Junhong and Youngjae, however, he could still easily give them the boot, those useless, sexually-frustrated boners.

As he arrived at his classroom door, Daehyun paused outside the door to collect his thoughts. All he needed to do was act natural, be himself, and the pieces would fall into place. After all, if Yongguk could handle him at his _worst_ , then he surely could at his… average?

As he leaned against the wall outside the classroom, once again engrossed in this mental dialogue, a hand tapped him on the shoulder. Letting out an high-pitched yelp, he whirled around, only to come face to face with a very attractive and very real Bang Yongguk. Having never been this physically close to the other male before, Daehyun's brain promptly and decisively short-circuited, resulting in him letting out a quiet gasp while staring blankly at the other. Yongguk was a bit taller than him, requiring Daehyun to tilt his head at a sight angle, something that made his heart flutter weakly. The other man was wearing a loose black tank that showed off his toned and tattoo adorned arms, and ripped jeans that curved nicely along his legs. Daehyun felt his mouth go alarmingly dry as he hungrily took in the other’s appearance, from Yongguk’s casual clothing to his soft, fluffy hair that was absolutely begging to be touched. In that instant, all of Daehyun’s preparation fuckin' soared out the window, leaving him speechless, bewildered, and mildly turned on.

Yongguk reached up to scratch his neck, giving Daehyun a beautiful demonstration of the man's flexing bicep and shoulder muscles, and offered a small, lopsided smile, “Hey… Daehyun, right? How’s it going, man?”

The other’s impossibly deep voice, the very subject of his most intense fantasies, was actually being directed at him. This was real life. Daehyun stared, desperately willing his mouth to work and release him from this misery. He watched the other’s eyebrows furrow at his lack of a response and quickly snapped himself from his stupor.

“I’m good! Ha ha… Yeah. Great.” Way to go, Daehyun, what a great and totally chill response. Nailed it.

Nodding, Yongguk smiled again, his  _very_ soft looking lips quirking upwards, leaving Daehyun mildly out of breath. “That’s good to hear. You look loads better than you did last night. Not that you looked all that bad, really. I don’t think that’s really possible for you.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.

In literally any other situation, Daehyun would have taken that response as some half-assed attempt at flirting. However, the other man stated the sentence so sincerely and openly, it sounded more like he was simply relaying an objective fact, not trying to flatter him.

Daehyun let out a light laugh, feeling a blush creep its way onto his face, “Yeah... Guess I kinda pride myself on keeping my physical composure even when the rest of my life is going to shit, ya know?”

The other man chuckled, “Yeah, man, of course. I’m pretty jealous of that, actually. That’s a nice quality to have...”

Daehyun tried to analyze Yongguk, he really did, but the other man had the surface emotionality of a goddamn rock. Since he looked so relaxed and completely neutral while he talked, there was no telling what was going on in the other’s mind. He was better off trying to analyze the psychological state of a tree at this rate. Daehyun was drawn out of his internal musing by the other’s deep, gravelly voice, which, much to Daehyun’s own embarrassment, sent a shudder down his spine.

“So… guess we should head into class, yeah?” Yongguk asked, an amused look gracing his features as he motioned behind Daehyun to the classroom door, “Class starts in two minutes. Don't wanna be late.”

Daehyun nodded aggressively, internal cringing at how eager he looked, “Yeah! Of course, this class is one of my favorites, actually.”

Mentally cursing himself, he turned around to head to his normal seat a couple rows from the front before he was cut off. Yongguk moved ahead of him, motioning with his head for him to follow.

“You wanna sit next to me? It’d be cool to have someone who actually knows what’s going on in this class near me.” Yongguk didn’t wait for a response and made his way down one of the rows, not even sparing a backward glance towards Daehyun.

Swallowing the lump that had rapidly formed in his throat, Daehyun hesitated briefly before following the other male down the row, palms growing sweaty at this unexpected turn of events. At no point in his previous preparations had he considered the possibility he would be asked to _sit_ by Yongguk. If he embarrassed himself during this experience, which was incredibly likely, he prayed an incoming meteorite would at least have the good graces to hit the exact spot he would be sitting in.

As Daehyun followed the other down the row, he pulled out his phone and opened the groupchat, fingers buzzing with nerves as he rapidly typed:

 

**schlong lover:**

****hey friends

so im boutta sit by Bang Yongguk lmao

and i am so

fucking

fucked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments always appreciated <3  
> @kihyunnybee on tumblr


	3. S.O.S Eisberg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daehyun sits by Yongguk in class and struggles. Youngjae and Junhong have a slight falling out. Daehyun is a good friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all!! sorry for the long ass wait ive been busy w classes and projects and my other fic. hope ya'll like this! I plan to update the next chapter by this weekend <3  
> also apologize for any spelling errors, i finished this at wee late hour last night

It took approximately 20 seconds for Daehyun’s group chat to blow the fuck up:

 

** Junhonghong oui baguette: **

OI MATE WOT

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

what the fuck ??????

?????

** Himchanfam: **

Not even gonna ask how you swung that.

** Junhonghong oui baguette: **

did u like

promise to give him a handie

*owen wilson voice* wow

** Jong the Dong: **

Looool u’ve made more progress in the past 24 hours than u have in the past 2 years

** Himchanfam: **

We r so proud :’)

** schlong lover: **

hfdskdfsjnddsd

JUNHONG NO I DID NOT!!!!!!!!! PROMISE THAT!

my hearts a-thumpin

what do

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

i hope u choke up in front of him n die

** Junhonghong oui oui baguette: **

LMAOOOOOOOOO but same

** Himchanfam: **

Seduce him with ur knowledge of 1950’s lgbt film.

A sure-fire way to impress a Man.

** Jong the Dong: **

Oooooo just like wink at him.

Or something.

** Himchanfam: **

Literally do not listen to Jongup do not do that.

He can’t flirt worth shit.

** Jong the Dong: **

But it worked on u!

** Himchanfam: **

Honey, ur abs worked on me.

** schlong lover: **

im not going to wink at him wtf jongup

also youngjae fuck u

im never giving u love advice AGAIN

** Junhonghong oui oui baguette: **

hold up

why were u giving youngjae love advice uhm

** Himchanfam: **

Oh fucking damn Dae.

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

HE WASN’T HES A DIRTY TWO-FACED LIAR

I DON’T HAVE A LOVE LIFE

** Junhonghong oui oui baguette: **

Oh uh do u like some1

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

aaaAAAAaAaaAAaA

** schlong lover: **

LmAO RIP

also Yongguk just quirked an eyebrow @ me oMG

lmao he WANTS THIS ASS

** Himchanfam: **

Or, alternatively, he’s just a confused guy who’s wondering why ur glued to ur phone.

** schlong lover: **

zoinks

 

Upon returning Yongguk’s gaze, Daehyun realized that, in fact, Himchan was probably right in his interpretation of the eyebrow quirk. Flashing a quick smile, he locked his phone screen and set it down, making sure to silence the notifications this time. No thanks, obnoxious vibrations.

Holy hell, did Yongguk look amazing up close. No, scratch that, he looked incredible, a real specimen. Daehyun couldn’t believe he was actually sitting next to the man himself, so close their elbows were almost brushing. He hungrily drank in the black ink running over the other man’s arms as he admired the way they decorated his skin. Had the other man always had such beautifully sculpted hands? Various rings adorned Yongguk’s fingers, silvers and golds that caught the light and set a fire underneath Daehyun’s skin. _Fuck_ , he was sexually attracted to rings now, the hell was wrong with him.

It wasn’t until Yongguk threw a small jerk of a wave in front of his face that Daehyun realized he had zoned out and missed that the other man had been talking to him. Caught off guard, he could feel the flush creeping up his neck.

“U-uh, yeah?” He stuttered, leaning back in his seat in a failed attempt to seem casual.

Yongguk’s eyebrows traveled further south on his face, “I asked if you took a lot of film classes? You seem really comfortable with film jargon.”

“Oh, wow, uhm, yeah!” Smooth, absolutely killing it. He was on a roll. “Well actually, I’m a film major so….. yeah. I love… film.”

“A film major?” Yongguk looked surprised, “That’s really cool, man. Wow, I didn’t even know that was something you could major in.”

Physically restraining himself from rolling his eyes, Daehyun gritted his teeth, “Yep, it’s a thing. I’m not taking a fake major. So, yeah.”

Sensing the flare in Daehyun’s attitude, Yongguk chuckled, a low rumbling sound, “Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m an environmental engineer. I’m just used to hanging around boujee science and math people.”

Daehyun nearly choked. Yongguk was an _environmental engineer_? Out of all the things he’s envisioned the other man being, it sure as hell was not that. He gave the other man another once-over. Yep, still not putting two and two together.

Yongguk gave him a sly grin, “I don’t really live up to a lot of stereotypes, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

The heat getting stronger in his face, Daehyun felt like morphing into his goddamn chair. Clearing his throat, he averted his eyes to stare firmly at the front of the classroom.

“Good to know,” He said and it totally did not come across as a squeak. Nope, definitely not.

He also pretended he didn’t see the quirk of Yongguk’s lips at his response and pretended he didn’t notice how the other’s biceps rippled slightly as he pulled out his notebook. Daehyun gulped. In that instant, he knew that this was going to be the longest 50 minutes of his entire unfortunate life.

The class droned on for what seemed like hours, maybe even  _days._ Literally, if he had to listen to one more poorly thought-through response to the impact of climate on Arctic Cinema, he was going to throw his entire body across the room. How hard was it to realize that the frigid and unforgiving Nordic climate, essentially, serves as the white man’s foil for encroaching on native culture and land? All one had to do was watch _S.O.S Eisberg_ and catch a couple glimpses of those shoddy planes crashing into like, what? 15 icebergs? for people to get the not-so-subtle message. He himself would get up and say something if he already hadn’t responded to every single other question the professor had asked. At this point, he was starting to get some pretty dirty glares from his classmates.

Daring to glance at Yongguk, he almost snorted at how lost the other male looked. Clearly, this type of material wasn’t his strongpoint. Realizing a prime opportunity, Daehyun quickly picked up his phone and typed out a message:

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

yo

say something abt how the cold punishes evil but has no effect on the good guys

mention how the villians all meet their demise in the snow/outside

 

He made eye contact with Yongguk and pointed at his phone. Getting the idea, the other man read his message, pursing his lips in obvious confusion.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

No offense, but what in the world r u talking about?

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

just say it

no one is saying it and its driving me crazy

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Why don’t u say it?

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

bc I have basically controlled this entire discussion

and I think the prof is tired of hearing from me

and I cnt take this anymore

pls

 

Yongguk put his hand up to his face, hiding the smile that was spreading there. Knowing he had caused that reaction, Daehyun felt his ego swell and preen its metaphorical feathers. Raising his hand, Yongguk proceeded to state what Daehyun had texted him, albeit wording it to sound more scholarly and relating it to the current film of discussion. The professor positively beamed, ecstatically agreeing with Yongguk and promptly launching into a long spiel on the subject. Said man turned to Daehyun and gave him a thumbs up before moving to write more notes down into his notebook. Stifling a scream of success, Daehyun trained his eyes on his desk, his stomach doing wild ass flip flops at the results of their interaction. Somehow, by a fucking miracle, he wasn’t turning this into a total disaster. He looked down and noticed his phone screen light up:

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Thanks (:

 

* * *

 

When class ended, Daehyun was surprised to find Yongguk already moving to leave. He had at least expected to chat with the other a bit more, find out more about the mysterious and hot senior. Ignoring the sinking feeling in his heart, he ducked his head to put his books back into his bag. Standing up straight, he jumped slightly when he saw Yongguk lingering by his seat, eyes concentrated on his phone. Clearing his throat, Daehyun watched Yongguk’s gaze slide up to meet his, sending pin-needles cascading over his arms. The other man cocked his head.

“You got any classes after this?” Yongguk looked so casual, almost bored in his demeanor. His bookbag was slung over his shoulder, one hand resting on the back of his chair while the other loosely gripped his phone. Deep breathes, Daehyun, play it cool.

“Nah, nothing.” So far so good, “I only have two classes on Friday.”

The other hummed in acknowledgment, eyes moving past Daehyun’s head to stare out the classroom door.

“Lucky. I have two more after this.” He looked thoughtful as he returned to inspect Daehyun’s face. “Guess I’ll catch you around?”

A bitter taste filled Daehyun’s mouth. In all honesty, he didn’t want to say goodbye just yet to the other male. This had been the most exciting interaction he had experienced in a long time (which said something about his current mental situation), and he wasn’t quite ready for it to end. However, like most of his favorite tv shows, he knew all good things must eventually come to an end, and he knew when to let go.

He nodded at Yongguk. “Yeah, guess I’ll see you next Monday.” He said cheerily, masking the disappointment flooding his system.

Moving around to start heading toward the door, he was stopped by a quick hand on his arm, making him blink in surprise. Yongguk removed his hand to scratch the back of his head, suddenly looking sheepish.

“If you’re up for it, there’s gonna be a pretty big banger at my friend’s fraternity tonight.” He paused to give a small laugh, “I’m not sure though, since you were pretty messed up last night.”

Barely registering the last sentence, Daehyun stood in shock, slowly filtering the words through his mind. Was Yongguk asking him to go to the party _with_ him? Or was he just throwing him a friendly invite? Why would he do this? Did he normally invite people he just met to parties? The list of questions that centered around the senior grew even longer.

Schooling his face into a nonchalant expression, Daehyun nodded, “That sounds lit, dude. Can I bring some people with me?”

“Oh yeah, for sure. The more the merrier. My friend wants me to spread the word so it gets all around campus.”

Ah, so Yongguk was just helping a friend with his party. That made sense.

Yongguk started walking towards the door, Daehyun naturally falling in step, “Just make sure you mention you know me at the security table. I’ll tell him to put your name down.”

Grinning, Yongguk extended his hand, which Daehyun stared blankly at before jerking himself to return the handshake. The other’s hands were so, so soft; his long fingers smooth and manicured.

“It was great formally meeting you, Daehyun.” Yongguk said, deep voice sending invisible shudders trickling down Daehyun’s back at the use of his own name, “Don’t think too hard about pigeons, they’re not that bad, really.”

“I really, really hate pigeons, my man. That’s not gonna change anytime soon.”

“To each their own,” Yongguk released his hand and started walking down the hallway, throwing a lazy wave over his shoulder. “I’ll text you the details later.”

Daehyun stood rock still until Yongguk’s lean figure rounded the corner and officially disappeared out of sight. Once the man was gone, Daehyun released the built-up whimper that had been threatening to leave his mouth for the entire conversation. _Holy fucking shit_.

 

** schlong lover: **

good news pals

we boutta turn tf up tn

also my boner for Yongguk has increased expotentially so theres that

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

i mean its Friday

if we weren’t turning up i would question our sanity

** schlong lover: **

and that mindset is why we r bffs jae <3

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

yeah no I still hate u

** schlong lover: **

<33333333333

but rly we have a party invite tn

at some fraternity house

** Jong the Dong: **

A frat?

The last frat party I went to I ended up naked the next morning on their lawn hugging a plastic flamingo covered in 4Loko residue.

** schlong lover: **

lmaooo omg I rmbr that

wasnt that after u boned that chick from ur kinetics class?

** Jong the Dong: **

Oh shit, you’re right. I totally forgot about Annie.

** Himchanfam: **

Uhm hello.

How about we don’t talk about ppl my boyfriend has fucked, kay, thanks!

** Jong the Dong: **

Sorry Channie! It was before I met u :((

I love u the most!

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

lmaooooo is himchan jeAloUUSssSS LOL

i’m loving this tea

** Himchanfam: **

Literally, why do we all suck?

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

Ya kno I ask myself that every fuckin day.

** schlong lover: **

we get it we all suck we say that like once every hour

ok anyways

r u guys even gonna ask HOW I got invited HMMMM???

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

no

** Himchanfam: **

Youngjae, r u ever not a pissy bitch?

Go on Daehyun, tell us how you got invited.

** schlong lover: **

Yongguk invited me :O

HE INVITED ME 2 PARTY W HIM

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

thats why I didn’t ask bc I KNEW WHAT U WOULD SAY

U PREDICATABLE FUCKBRAIN

** Himchanfam: **

I mean I did too.

Sometimes you just need to humor the child.

** schlong lover: **

wtf

i….. am…… smh

where’s Junhong he would appreciate what im saying

he loves frat parties

** Jong the Dong: **

…….

Youngjae may have… been a huge dick earlier.

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

I WAS NOT A HUGE DICK!!!! I JUST TOLD HIM I WASN’T INTERESTED

** Himchanfam: **

By telling him to “fuck off” and calling him an “adolescent child” that only thinks with his "goddamn ugly penis”

** schlong lover: **

JESUS JAE

WILL U EVER NOT BE AN ASS TO HIM FOR THINKIN UR CUTE

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

………..

I may have freaked out ok

And gone… over the top…… i admit....

** schlong lover: **

go apologize

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

no

** schlong lover: **

go

apologize

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

fuck u

** Jong the Dong: **

If u don’t apologize, I’ll remove u from the groupchat.

I love u, Jae, I really do. But we r all suffering here because of u two.

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

UGH FUCK FINE!!!!!

YALL CAN ALL EAT MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

** schlong lover: **

well

I kno Junhong would so

** #1 Jaden Smith Stan: **

HLY FUCK ING SFHJK!JH HKSAF !IM GONAS

** schlong lover: **

LMAO BYE

I’ll stop by ur guys apartment later xoxo

.........

gossip girl

 

Walking along the sidewalk, Daehyun really was blown away by how incredibly stupid his group of friends was. It really was a goddamn miracle they had all made it this far in life. He wondered where or who he would be if he had befriended the members of the Student Programs Council instead of these useless fucks. He was rounding the curb when he recognized a bright mop of pinkish/purple hair lounging underneath a tree in the main campus park. Daehyun could recognize Junhong’s gangly form from a mile away.

Jogging over to where the other man was lounging, he plopped down on the grass beside him, causing Junhong to let out a startled bark. He sat up straight, blinking the sleep out of his eyes while regarding Daehyun warily.

“The fuck u want?” Junhong grumbled out, voice still raspy with sleep. There were strands of grass tangled in his hair, making Daehyun chuckle before he reached over to pick them out.

“Just wanted to see how my favorite twink was doing this fine afternoon.” He patted the younger’s head, “Were you taking a nap out here?”

Junhong shrugged, moving so his back was leaning more solidly against the tree. “Yeah, just wanted to clear my mind.” He reached down and started pulling the grass out of the ground rather aggressively, yanking up roots and soil.

Daehyun sighed and moved so he was leaning again the taller male, resting his head on the other’s shoulder, “What’s up?” He asked, despite having a pretty good idea what was on his friend’s mind.

Muttering under his breath, Junhong began picking at the dirt he had now gotten under his nails. He shifted slightly closer to Daehyun, seeming begrudgingly grateful for his company.

“It’s just… am I really that young?” He started hesitantly, eyes downcast as he regarded his own fingers. “Like, I get it, I’m a freshman, you and Youngjae are juniors… but is it really that much of difference?”

Daehyun scoffed, digging his chin lightly into the other’s shoulder, “Uhm yeah? You’re like a baby to me. My sweet Junhongie baby.” Junhong frowned, swatting at Daehyun’s chin. “But, that’s just me. I'm protective of you since I remember vividly what it’s like to be a freshman.”

“Youngjae just seems to hate me though,” Junhong muttered as he tilted his head back to look at the sunlight filtering through the leaves, “Ever since I started showing interest in him.”

“I mean, if you weren’t interested in someone, wouldn’t you get annoyed if they kept coming onto you?”

Junhong sighed, “He was just giving me so many… signs? All the late-night phone calls and arm touches and drunkenly gross face kisses. He would even bring me coffee every morning to our 8am!”

Closing his eyes, Daehyun huffed, “Trust me, I know. Youngjae’s a confusing son of a bitch. Never straight forward with what he thinks or what he wants.”

“I like him a lot.”

“That’s really weird and I pity you.”

“Dude.”

Letting out a loud laugh, Daehyun brought his arms around the other’s torso and gave it a light squeeze, “If you want my humble opinion, I think Youngjae likes you, too. He’s just being a massive weenie baby about it.”

Snorting at the hopeful look that shined on Junhong’s face, Daehyun stopped himself from pinching his cheeks, “Just like… lay low for a bit, yeah? Let _him_ come to _you_. Guarantee when you stop giving him attention, he’ll start missing it. That’s like, Youngjae in a nutshell.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Junhong squinted his eyes at Daehyun, “Last time I checked, you were pissed I took that shitty pic of you.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” Lifting his head off the other’s shoulder, Daehyun waggled his finger in Junhong’s face, “I’m still pissed about that. As payment for giving you emotional support I expect you to delete it.”

Grinning, Junhong stretched out leisurely, unintentionally resembling an overgrown version of the cat from Alice in Wonderland. He threw Daehyun a wink before bending to stand up.

“No can do, buddy.” He flicked Daehyun’s nose, “I need that ammunition.”

Biting back a groan of annoyance, Daehyun grabbed Junhong’s arm to keep him from getting up.

“Dude, c’mon, _why_? _”_

“Because I can, Dae, _because I can_.”

Daehyun stuck his tongue out at the younger male, although he had to admit he was silently pleased that Junhong stayed on the ground. Running his fingers over the blades of grass, he abruptly remembered the events that had occurred earlier.

“Oh my god, you should check the group chat.”

Junhong clucked his tongue, “Aha yeah I’ve been avoiding that for… reasons.”

“It’s Youngjae, I get it, you’re gay and emo for him. He’ll apologize to you soon. Anyways, check it. We’ve got a banger to attend tonight.” Daehyun wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh shit, where at?”

“Dunno yet, Yongguk said it was at some frat his friend is in.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Junhong reached over to slap Daehyun’s shoulder, “You fuckin’ dog. You already have him inviting you to parties? You really did give him a handjob, didn’t you?”

Daehyun groaned, “I’m remembering why I hate you again, don’t ruin this moment.”

“Right, right,” Junhong made an “ok” sign with his hand, one eyebrow cocked upwards, “Dude, I love frat parties.”

“I know you do, you shitlord. That’s why I’m telling you. You can get your mind off you-know-who for a bit.”

“Huh, didn’t know I had the hots for Lord Voldemort, thanks for updating me.”

Holding himself back from wringing Junhong’s neck, Daehyun flicked him off before standing up and deliberately brushing off his pants.

“On that note, I’m out. I’ll text you more details about the party when I get ‘em," He paused and jabbed a finger in Junhong's direction, "Don’t stay out here too long, you’re gonna get ugly ass grass stains, you dumb nerd.” Daehyun gave him a mock salute before turning on his heels and stalking away, ignoring the obnoxious cackling being emitted behind his back.

Although he felt good that he could talk to his friend and slightly cheer him up, he was reminded once again of his underlying love/hate relationship with Junhong; he truly wouldn’t mind drop-kicking the pink-haired man across the Atlantic Ocean and waving goodbye, dramatically wiping his fake tears with a handkerchief as the man soared over the sea. Honestly, he and Youngjae were so perfect for each other, it disgusted him. But he also loved them, so he hoped they got married one day and had disgusting bitchy children together. For fuck’s sake, he better be those imaginary asshole children’s godfather, or _God_ help him-

His phone lit up with an unread message:

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hey. Party’s at 428 Hemphill Ave. It’s byob but there’ll be jungle juice. Hope you can make it!

 

Daehyun stared at the message, idly running his thumb over the screen. So, it was official; He really, truly, actually was being invited to a real-life party by Bang Yongguk.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

ayo neat thanks!

ill def b there

 

Some time passed by before he got a reply:

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Good to hear.

Oh btw, text me when you get there. I’ll introduce you to my friend.

I think you’re his type.

 

Wait a minute, hold up a second, slow the fuck down there. Daehyun practically heard the gears in his head grind to a halt. What the fuck? Hold up. Nope. What? He could feel his world start spinning down the metaphorical toilet bowl of life. Yongguk… was trying to set him up… with his friend… meaning… _Oh goddamnit._ Ignoring the bitter feeling in his chest, he typed on his phone:

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

lol how do u kno im into guys?

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Oh uh fuck. I mean, I just assumed. Was I wrong??

You were going on and on last night about how hot Leonardo DiCaprio was in the 1990’s version of Romeo and Juliet I just assumed.

 

Sometimes, Daehyun wondered if he would ever catch a break. It’s almost like the world was actually trying its hardest to ruin every possible chance he had at impressing Yongguk.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

Ohhhhhh my godddddd

im so sry u had to listen to me do that

yeah lmao ur not wrong im gay

rly fucking gay

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hahaha thank God!

I mean, not that I’m relieved you’re gay.

Well I guess I am.

I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.

 

Daehyun could feel the hope trickle back into his heart as he read over Yongguk’s jumble of a reply. Maybe, just maybe, this was something he could work with.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

well u can rest easy

im gay as they come

 

He hesitated before continuing his messages, doubt flooding his mind. Unsure if the following he had typed out was ok to ask or not, Daehyun decided to throw all regard out the window. After all, what’s the most he could lose?

 

  **To “Bang Yongguk”:**

tbh wbu?

how do u swing

 

After pressing “send,” Daehyun was suddenly filled with the uncontrollable urge to punch himself in the throat. _What the fuck?_ He literally didn’t think he could have worded that in a more obvious and completely not subtle way. Way to go, Daehyun. Superb performance on the field today. Splendid.

Time ticked by, the minutes sliding across his screen as he waited for Yongguk’s reply. 10 minutes later, he still had nothing. Daehyun promptly contemplated how reasonable it would be for him to pack up and move to Iceland, becoming one of those people who disappeared to go “find themselves,” leaving behind little to no trace of his existence. He couldn’t lie to himself, it was extremely tempting.

Arriving back at his one-person dorm (he still to this day doesn’t know why he chose to live in a dorm instead of off-campus for his goddamn junior year of college), Daehyun threw his backpack in the general vicinity of his chair and flopped onto his bed, kicking off his shoes in the process. Realization slowly sinking in, he let out a muffled scream into his pillow. Why was he like this? Who allowed him to be this way? He blamed his parents for encouraging him to be a loud and boisterous child. Clearly, they never taught him common fucking sense.

He checked his phone again: still nothing. Releasing a wail into his room, he rolled over and stared sadly at the ceiling. He guessed he could avoid Yongguk for the rest of his life if he really tried hard enough. New year, new him once again making a complete fool of himself in front of his crush. A buzz from his phone sent his hands flailing to grab it, knocking over the 3 water bottles stacked on his nightstand:

 

**3 Unread Messages from Bang Yongguk**

 

Heart thumping rapidly against his ribcage, Daehyun unlocked the screen and opened their chat, nearly dropping his phone when he read the other’s messages:

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Lol sorry, had to help my roommate clean the kitchen.

I haven’t ever really thought about my sexuality if I’m honest.

I’ve only ever dated girls. Grew up in a pretty small town.

 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Daehyun could feel his fingers tremble as he thought about his reply. What the fuck did he even say to something like that? “ _Well in that case, I’d be willing to help you figure it out_ ;)”? Yeah, that’s a huge no-no.

 

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

if it helps i didnt realize i liked dudes until I was 15 so like

there’s that

honestly im just kind of relieved ur chill w it haha

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Oh yeah, of course. Fuck people who aren't. Who even cares anymore?

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

u’d b surprised tbh lmao

but when ur as good looking and amazing as me u dont let it bother u :))

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hahaha ur something else. Wish I had ur confidence.

Anyways I gotta go help grab shit for the party.

See u tonight.

 

Time seemed to stand painfully still before Daehyun gained control of his body again. Emitting in a shrill squeal, he hugged his phone to his chest and once again smashed his face into his pillow, reeling over the endless possibilities that had been thrust before him. In this shocking turn of events, the sun of hope once again peeked through his mental cloud of despair, giving him the encouragement he needed. He grinned to himself. After this update, there was one thing he was absolutely certain about: Tonight at this frat party, he was going to look drop-dead _stunning_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @kihyunnybee on tumblr


	4. Jungle Juice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daehyun once again gets piss drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologize for the loooonnngggg ass wait holy shit. i had no inspiration for legit months and then an anon messaged me abt it and it rejuvenated me and i was like?? enough is enough???? mate do it? so here we are. sry for any typos and bad jokes lmao

Clutching onto a sticky solo cup sloshing with obscenely sweet jungle juice, Daehyun surveyed the raucous scene in front of him, wondering just exactly how his night had ended up the way it had. He was a good person: he called his Mom twice a week and donated to charities at fast food places. Taco Bell even had his name proudly adorning their wall on a little sticky note that says $1. For crying out loud, he let people merge into his lane while driving in rush hour traffic. Quite honestly, he was a mediocre version of a saint.

And yet here he was, struggling to stand upright in a room full of yodeling college kids and strobe lights, his sluggish brain swimming with overstimulation and no Bang Yongguk in sight. His text to the elder remained unanswered, having messaged the other as soon as he arrived at the large so-called “frat castle.” On the couch in front of him, Jongup straddled Himchan’s lap, the two of them aggressively making out as if the entire house was going to burn down at any minute, which quite frankly, wouldn’t seem that surprising at the rate this party was going. He didn’t really know what else to do besides stare at the duo, his brain short-circuiting and struggling to process what was going on around him. _When the fuck did that happen_ , he wondered, pursing his lips when Himchan snaked a hand down Jongup’s pants to grope his ass. _Good GOD._ On that note, he decided it was time to take his leave.

Pivoting around on his feet, he made a beeline for the back porch, desperate for some air or honestly anything that wasn’t two of his best friends with their tongues down each other's throats. Swerving around a group of people huddled near the doorway, he shoved the door open, letting out a sigh of relief when a gust of cool breeze hit him square in the face. Letting the door swing shut behind him, he looked at his surrounding, slowly registering the laughing faces and buzzing lights. As he surveyed the socialization around him, he abrubtly remembered that Youngjae and Junhong existed and pulled out his phone to text them.

 

**To “YoungGay”:**

ayo bitch where is u @

**From “YoungGAY”:**

Hiding in the closet

**To “YoungGay”:**

hmm dude i hatee to break this 2 u

but uve been out of the closet for like 3 years now

**From “YoungGAY”:**

NO U fuckin mutated pinecone

im legit in the hallway closet

hiding

**To “YoungGay”:**

O

may I ask

why???

**From “YoungGAY”:**

Ok so u rmbr that dude I hooked up w

halloween night

in my slutty bob the builder outfit

**To “YoungGay”:**

o jaebum?

**From “YoungGAY”:**

yah him

well uh he’s here and he saw me and I panicked and I ran

bc I nvr returned any of his txts or calls

and here we r

these coats smell like deadass old shoes                        

**To “YoungGay”:**

LMAOOOOOOOO

ur so dumb lmaoo

why dnt u just go flirt w some dude to send him a msg

**From “YoungGAY”:**

and who the fuck would I flirt w????

u kno I hate everyone

**To “YoungGay”:**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**From “YoungGAY”:**

no

**To “YoungGay”:**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**From “YoungGAY”:**

NO

**To “YoungGay”:**

want me to txt him for u :---)

**From “YoungGAY”:**

NOOOOOO

 

Giggling maniacally to himself, Daehyun opened him and Junhong’s messages.

 

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

henlo hunny

where r u

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

tryna take this boy i met home

dont ruin this for me

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

what if I told u that a certain some1 needed ur help hm

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

BITCH help urself

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

NO u fuk not me

YOUNGJAE

“help urself” u lil fcker im gonna sjfhjskddedf

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

Oh lmao rip

what does he need

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

he needs u to flirt w him bc some dude he hooked up w is trackin his ass down

and hes a weenie

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

uhhhh ok??? Why cant u do that???

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

bc the idea of flirting w jae gives me a negative boner

id rather eat slug slime

PLUS

call me a giving n generous friend

bc im tryna help u out

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

awh u do love me :’)

ight where he at imma swoop

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

ew gross no I dnt

but yay ok hes in the hallway closet

**From “ZeloOoOo”:**

.........

of fucking course he is

smh

well guess im ditchin this dude im with

a shame

 **To “** **ZeloOoOo** **”:**

shut up n get the job done

\------------------------- 

 **To “** **YoungGAY** **”:**

ur night in shiinin armor is on his way ;))

**From “YoungGAY”:**

FUCK

U!!!!!!

 **To “** **YoungGAY** **”:**

act natural sweetie

gotta make it believable <33

 

Grinning, Daehyun locked his phone, pleased with the course of action he had taken. Truly, he was a genius, a great matchmaking mastermind. Look at him, helping his friends out, making things happen! And now that left him… alone. Well, shit.

To his left, a girl smiled at him, hands smoothing her blonde hair away from her face. He moved towards her, smile bright, drink sloshing in his cup. He didn’t even register what they were talking about, only that they were talking and that it felt good. It was enough to take his mind off the lingering disappointment about Yongguk’s absence, something that had caused him to drink a wee bit more than he should have. Two other guys came over and joined her, and before he knew it, Daehyun was talking to a whole group, flashing winning smiles and enthusiastically waving his hands, drawing them in like a horse to water.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Laughing as he stepped away from the group, he pulled his phone out, swiping to unlock without even checking the screen notification.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hey

Sorry for the late response, had some shit to attend to

 

Daehyun gulped, palms beginning to sweat as he reread those words, hope once again flooding through him despite the ridiculous circumstances.

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

Hi its no big deal :)

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Where r u?

**To “Bang Yongguk”:**

back porch

its nice out here comme join lmaoo ;)

 

Daehyun smiled proudly at himself as he pressed send, completely at ease with the fact that he had just sent a winky face to Yongguk. Distantly, in the far recesses of his mind, his sober-self screamed incoherently.

 

**From “Bang Yongguk”:**

Haha ok

 

Giddy out of his mind, Daehyun bounced on his heels as he leaned over the porch railing, losing himself to his own thoughts. This was incredible, really truly incredible- wait no, this was perfect. He was finally getting the chance to impress Yongguk in the social scene rather than in academia. There was no doubt in his mind that he would successfully impress the stoic beautiful man, especially since he himself looked so good tonight. Wow, he felt really good, like King of the Frat Castle out on this fine Friday evening. However, his vision was starting to blur a bit and his mouth was a little fuzzy in texture, and hey, maybe he wasn’t feeling so great, and maybe he drank a little too much of that cheap alcohol.

Looking down at his now empty cup, Daehyun felt an odd sense of déjà vu wash over him. _Oh fucking hell no._ No way in hell was he letting himself blackout in Yongguk’s presence again. Who knows what he would say this time? In the distance, he could already imagine the vague shapes of the campus pigeons littering the parking lot. His fist clenched. _Don’t do it Daehyun, don’t you dare, no way you bitch_ , he internally chastised himself, trying to force his absurd hate for the invasive bird out of his mind. Seriously, he had a problem: an alcohol-induced problem that he needed to sort out fast before he became known around campus as “Pigeon Murderer” or some shit... Wait, why was he outside in the first place? When did he finish his drink? Why did the time on his phone only say 11:57 pm when he was damn sure it was 2:00 am and close to his bed time?

A hand gripped his shoulder, yanking him from his mental turmoil. A squeak pushed its way out of Daehyun’s mouth and he jumped in fear, whirling around to face the owner of the hand. Another embarrassing and even-higher pitched squeak left him as he came face to face with none other than Bang Yongguk in all his beautiful glory. Stuttering, Daehyun worked to compose his face as he drank in the other’s appearance, from the loose almost sheer white tee and thin gold chain around his neck to the ripped denim jeans and various rings adorning the other’s fingers. _Holy shit, he looks so good_ , Daehyun was quivering, his heart bouncing off the walls of his feeble frame.

“Hey, dude.” Yongguk’s voice seemed to vibrate and sink an octave lower than Daehyun could even comprehend. Sweet Holy Jesus, he was about to pop a boner from the guy’s voice alone. _Get a grip, dude._

Digging his nails into his palm, Daehyun forced himself out of his stupor, calling on strength from the alcohol flowing through his veins.

“Hey, you came!” He said, smiling easily, leaning back against the railing to seem casual and to also keep himself from falling over.

Yongguk smiled sheepishly, removing his hand from Daehyun’s shoulder. The spot he had touched burned, sending tingles down Daehyun’s spine.

“Yeah, sorry about not responding,” Yongguk ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face, “My sister needed some help out of the blue.”

Daehyun shrugged, running a finger around the rim of his solo cup, “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it,” He paused, watching a twitch in Yongguk’s bicep as the other moved his arm, “I’ve been floating around well enough. Also got to watch my best friends make out, that was something.”

The other started laughing, showing off a gummy smile that sent Daehyun’s heart rate skyrocketing, shooting electricity through his fingers that were unfortunately amplified by the jungle juice.

“Oh man, I’m so sorry you had to witness that,” Yongguk wheezed through laughter, reached out to punch Daehyun’s arm, “Good thing there’s alcohol, right?”

Daehyun grinned, trying not to narrow his eyes at the other’s casual action. That was debatably very StraightTM of Yongguk: a manly bro punch that drunk Daehyun did not approve of. He needed to spice things up a bit, add a dash of subtle gay content to test the waters and see if Yongguk really could whip it around for the other team. And maybe whip it _out_ , that would be nice.

“Yeah,” Daehyun said, smiling while batting his eyelashes in what he hoped was a demurring way. He placed his hand on Yongguk’s forearm as he leaned in closer, “Alcohol makes everything bearable and much more… _fun_.”

He felt the other man tense slightly under his touch and proximity, shooting a fiery-hot flash of doubt through his gut, making him wonder if he was making yet another rookie mistake. Yongguk pursed his lips, eyes unreadable as he leaned back against a nearby pillar. Daehyun’s hand felt hot, too hot. He pulled back. Nervously licking his lips, he watched Yongguk’s eyes fall to track the movement. Something flared in his stomach, turning his legs to jelly and his breath erratic. _Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, he’s hot, I’m so drunk, Holy FUCK he’s hot I’m drunk fuck I’m gay so gay a drunk gay_ -

“I wanted to introduce you to my friend.” Yongguk’s voice cut through his internal rambling. It took a couple seconds for the words to sink in, and a frown graced Daehyun’s face instinctively. He opened his mouth to refuse, but Yongguk cut him off.

“But I really don’t think you guys would get along all that great… now that I’m thinking about it.”

Daehyun froze, taking in his statement, wondering if that actually meant what he thought it did. He stared blankly, confusion written clear as day on his face, causing Yongguk to let out a soft laugh.

“Do you know what, Daehyun?” Yongguk said, looking down at his fingers as he picked at a nail, black hair falling into his face, “I’m glad I found you last night, even if it was under some weird ass circumstances.”

Daehyun’s mouth fell open, words failing him as he stared at Yongguk, quite honestly wondering if he was so drunk he had started hallucinating. Snapping his mouth shut, He cleared his throat before nervously shifting his solo cup from hand to hand. He jolted when Yongguk’s slim fingers grazed over his own, gently taking the cup from him. At this point, if Daehyun’s heart raced any faster, it could give even the fastest EDM song a run for its money. He watched helplessly and uselessly as Yongguk tossed the cup into the nearby trashcan. The other man continued leaning against the pillar, folding his arms over his chest as he unabashedly stared at Daehyun, eyes roaming restlessly over his face. Daehyun stared back, hooking his thumbs on the belt loops of his jeans, vaguely registering the chatter of people around them as his eyes honed in on the way Yongguk’s throat tensed when he swallowed.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Yongguk asked, his voice distinctly deeper, more raspy, and Daehyun’s breath hitched.

“Yeah,” He whispered, mouth suddenly dry, skin suddenly too hot. Why was it so fucking hot in the middle of the goddamn night?

Yongguk smiled, “Good. Let’s go for a walk.”

 

* * *

 

Daehyun thought he was going to vibrate the fuck right out of his own skin. Yongguk hummed softly beside him, hands shoved into his pockets and face turned upwards towards the sky. The world around them was silent, save for the cicadas screaming their tiny hearts out in the nearby trees, much to Daehyun’s displeasure.

They had said very little to each other since they’d left the party, with Daehyun too nervous to form words and Yongguk seemingly at peace with the silence. While it wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, Daehyun wanted to figure things out. He desperately wished the other man would open up, talk to him about _anything_. At this point, Daehyun would listen to Yongguk lecture him about the intricate details of snail reproduction if it meant hearing his voice. To him, Yongguk was too much of an enigma, someone he just couldn’t piece together, and it was driving him mad.

By the side of the road, Yongguk stopped, a thoughtful look on his face as he stared off into the great abyss of college outskirts. Daehyun slowed down beside him, squinting to look up at a streetlight flickering on and off, watching what seemed like 2 billion bugs swarm around it; their frantic buzzing seemed almost relatable given his current state. Deciding to sneak a peek at his companion, Daehyun jerked in surprise when he found Yongguk gazing back at him. All of a sudden, Daehyun’s mouth was parched and his palms were sweaty and he kind of wanted to die or at least get hit by a car at this exact moment. Instead, Daehyun served up his weakest smile to date and laughed nervously. _Yeah, that was good, real smooth work there Big D. Keep it up you fuckin’ useless avocado._

“So, uh, can I ask you a question, Daehyun?” Yongguk said, expression unreadable to Daehyun’s already wrecked state. It also didn’t help that the sound of Daehyun’s name in the other man’s mouth made his knees embarrassingly weak.

“Sure.” Daehyun croaked. His vision was getting blurry around the edges as the alcohol trickled through his system.

Yongguk paused, lips pursed in contemplation before opening his mouth, “What do you think of me?”

While Daehyun wasn’t exactly sure what he expected Yongguk to say, it certainly wasn’t _that_ of all things. Good lord, the guy really was trying to make Daehyun’s brain shut down in record time.

“Well, uh,” Daehyun stuttered, “You seem… cool?” He finished weakly, red flushing up his neck.

Laughing softly, Yongguk shook his head, “No, dude, I mean like, why do you want to hang out with me?”

 _Oh fuck, he knows. He totally knows I want to suck his dick dry right here in the middle of the street, Oh sweet baby Jesus, he thinks I’m a fuckin’ horny creep_ , Daehyun mentally panicked and desperately searched his brain for something normal to say.

“I, uhm, well, think you must be, uh…” His drunk brain scrambled to logically piece a sentence together, “Oh! Ok, well, I think you just… must be a really nice person?” He ended the sentence with a questioning lilt, eyebrows furrowed together as he watched Yongguk’s reaction.

The other snorted, looking off to the side, “How can you say that? You don’t know me.”

Despite his own embarrassment, Daehyun couldn’t help the eye-roll that followed, “Uhm, hello, buddy. You found my drunk ass harassing birds at like 2am and instead of leaving me to my fate, ya’ picked me up and walked my sorry self to bed,” As he continued talking, Daehyun felt his confidence slowly start to return and guide his speech; that, or he was really feeling the liquor at this point, “To me, I dunno, it makes you kind. Kinder than most.”

As he spoke, he watched the lines on Yongguk’s face smooth out, saw the tension leave his shoulder. It suited him much better. He didn’t exactly know what that whole ordeal was all about, but clearly he said the right thing if the other’s body language was anything to go by. Letting his eyes wander over the other’s torso, Daehyun found himself once again hopelessly enamored. God, Yongguk was gorgeous. He wanted to lick down his tattooed chest and ride him into the motherfucking sunset. Fucking hell, alcohol made him horny… what in the world was wrong with him? Literally right after telling Yongguk that heart-warming shit, here he was fantasizing about getting dicked down not even 5 seconds later. An embarrassment to the planet, that’s what he was.

Clearly sensing Daehyun’s internal turmoil, Yongguk quirked his eyebrows before giving a lop-sided smile and placing his hand back on Daehyun’s bicep, “You good over there?”

_Ok, just tell him you’re fine, Daehyun._

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.” Whoops. That’s not what he had meant to say. Huh. Shit.

Yongguk’s eyes widened comically, hand turning into a vice grip on Daehyun’s arm. To Daehyun’s utmost misery, the other pulled back, a soft crimson brushing the tips of his ears. Well, this was it. He’d really done _that_. He couldn’t wait to tell Youngjae that he was moving away and falling off the grid for the next 30 years of his life. Maybe he could go bond with a pack of wolves, get in touch with nature or some hippie-ass shit.

Sucking in a breath, Yongguk eyed Daehyun, his lips drawn tight before exhaling loudly and rubbing a hand over his face.

When he looked back up, a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, followed by a low chuckle, “How fuckin' drunk are you, really?”

Letting out a strangled noise, Daehyun felt like shriveling into a raisin, “Probably too drunk.”

“Are you even going to remember this?” Something akin to fondness seemed to grace the other’s face.

“Most definitely,” Daehyun just about whimpered, wishing the ground truly could swallow him whole.

Sitting down on the curb, Yongguk softly patted the spot beside him, gesturing for Daehyun to join him. Hesitantly lowering himself down, Daehyun swallowed a squeak when he felt Yongguk pat his knee, letting his hand rest there when he was done. The other man sighed, staring thoughtfully out across the street, the only sound around them being those damned cicadas and the distant rev of car engines. Daehyun was about 3.8 seconds away from joining the cicadas and screaming his lungs out if Yongguk didn’t open his damn mouth soon good fuckin' God-

“I always noticed you.” Yongguk said softly, refusing to turn to look at Daehyun as the words left his mouth, “In every class we had together, that is. You’re hard to miss.”

Daehyun’s pulse sped up, insides twisting inside-out as the other man’s deep voice resonated in his ear.

“I don’t really know why, either. I’ve never really even thought much about guys.” Yongguk sounded strained, tapping a finger on his pursed lips, “I mean, I don’t really care exactly, I just never considered it until recently.”

Daehyun sharply pinched the inside of his wrist, firmly in denial that this entire event was happening in real life. Maybe he had passed out and was floating through a surreal alternate reality where everything actually worked out for him. He felt Yongguk shift slightly behind him, body heat pressing into his side, and he bit his lip, hard enough to leave an indent.

“That’s ok,” He finally managed to choke out. When Yongguk shot him a confused look, Daehyun continued, “I mean, it’s ok… to not know why. Maybe.”

Judging from the way Yongguk sighed, it was a good thing to say, “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

When the other fell silent again, Daehyun registered that he was starting to lose feeling in his fingers. It seemed as though that last cup of offensive alcohol was finally kicking in as he felt the nervousness drain from his torso, replaced by a dull sense of elation. Or maybe he was just happy to hear Yongguk speak so openly to him. Smiling, he dared to rest his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, the world gently spinning as he closed his eyes, releasing a soft breath of air.

“You’re tha’ hottest guy I’ve seen in my entire life,” Daehyun admitted, nose scrunched up to try to dispel the dizziness he was enduring.

He emitted a grunt of annoyance as his head shook when Yongguk laughed, the older man’s shoulders moving up and down jerkily.

“Wait, how do you really feel?” Yongguk joked, although Daehyun was too far gone to register the teasing lilt to his voice and he frowned.

He vaguely registered being pulled up by a strong pair of arms. Blinking rapidly, he started as Yongguk’s face came into his vision, the other’s dark hair falling to cover one eye, making Daehyun want to brush it aside, or even better, run his fingers through it, maybe give it an experimental tug.

Yongguk cupped the back of his neck, keeping his head upright, “Where are your friends?”

“Uh… back at the party, yeah? I think. Dunno, they’re probably fuckin’ each other or something, those horny bastards.”

“Guess I’ll have to take you home again, huh?” The light glinted warmly off Yongguk’s dark eyes. Daehyun smiled.

“You don’t have to… Don’t wanna bother you everytime I’m drunk!” He giggled, falling forward so his face nosed into Yongguk’s neck, swooning slightly as the other’s arms came to wrap around his back.

“I think your body just gave me your real answer.”

“Dude, you right. Please, help me get my drunk ass home.”

He could feel Yongguk’s fingers brush along his ribs, felt the other’s breath tickle his ear.

“You really should stop getting so drunk around me.” Yongguk muttered, “Makes it a lot harder.”

Daehyun huffed against his neck, drunkenly pressing his lips to the other’s skin, feeling Yongguk stiffen beneath him, “Whatcha mean?”

Pulling back, Yongguk placed his hand under Daehyun’s chin, gently tilting his head up, the tall man’s eyes boring into his own. _Oh fuck_ , his dick just twitched, literally jumped for joy in his pants, and Daehyun bit back a moan, desperately willing his vision to clear and focus.

“I guess,” Yongguk murmured, “You’ll have to wait and find out when you're sober.”

And just like that, it was over. Yongguk leaned back, face schooled into a carefully neutral expression as he patted Daehyun’s cheek, leaving him reeling. Like every other unfortunate moment in his damn life, Daehyun was left confused, tired, and mildly horny.

Before he could say anything, his companion quickly moved to grip his elbow, gently pulling Daehyun along the road back to campus. He let Yongguk guide him home, feeling too spent to ask any more questions or figure out how to move his body by himself, simply content with enjoying the beautiful shape of the other’s toned body from behind.

In the grand scheme of things, Daehyun _really_ loved being drunk and gay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu @bbyboychimchim (switched from kihyunnybee) on tumblr <33  
> comments give me life lmaoo


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